after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
