i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
