It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
