I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
