I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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