You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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