North Korea, Best Korea!
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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