im holly from the hills drunk
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
