Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
