Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
