***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Randomize
