i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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