Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
