Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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