Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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