I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I supernannyed him into submission
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
