We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
This toilet bowl is my home.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
