My hair reeks of homosexuality.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
