apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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