Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
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