I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
We got so high we made milksteak
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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