Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Randomize
