i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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