you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
