Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
You work out of a Hotel?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
