i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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