Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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