Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
