I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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