I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
