Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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