Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
