Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
