too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
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