If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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