i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
