Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
So much Jack, so little girl.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
