Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
