You kept calling me your small dog last night.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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