I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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