1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
