i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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