THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
