Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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