i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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