well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
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