Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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