I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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