doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize
