we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
