Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
