Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
