PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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